So, it's been about 6 weeks since everything changed in my own personal part of the world, but I know that time frame is different all over...
I have been meaning to share about my own personal yoga practice for QUITE some time, had grand ideas of blogging every time I try a new video or re-visit an old one, have even taken notes in anticipation...
but life. You know...that thing that happens in between sleeps?
And I may NEVER get that part of the blog going. Or maybe I will. One thing has been certain during this time of uncertainty...
I have no idea what the future holds.
(But I do know Who holds it! and thanks be to God for that!)
Rather than going back and catching up on 3-thousand & 7 things in this post, I am going to start with today--
with a tiny synopsis of why today is where I am starting.
Prior to COVID-19 life, I was already in a place of wondering aboutmy next "assignment".
I was backing off social media, playing a bit with google for my biz sake, and resting in God's provision to guide me...and then...
the world went wonky.
Suddenly I was being asked to help with my church community page (which I love!), to contribute some helpful meditation videos,
and I thought,
"Maybe now is the time I finally start providing the online content people have been asking me for???"
So, I also scheduled my first of a few free multiple yoga class live streams.
Love offerings- because I knew people did not have the same income to spend on yoga that they might have had before,
and I was excited for some folks to finally try it out with me,
and for others to stay connected as community,
and because I was trying out different tech platforms to see what might work best,
and sometimes they worked
and sometimes they didn't,
and- and- and- and-...
and....I did a few of those each week for a few weeks, plus other videos for meditation and encouragement.
And I had intentions towards maybe doing some exclusive "paid-for" classes at some point as well, because who knows what will happen after all of this?
And in that "suddenly"...
I stopped resting.
I picked back up the expectation mantle I had set aside.
I noticed that, though I loved supporting others and receiving their gratitude and knowing they were feeling better(!)-
I was getting more and more fried and discombobulated myself.
I kept hearing the whisper inside saying "remember how we were talking about 'getting your house in order'?"
(which yes, did mean my physical house, but also my personal body/clay vessel and my emotional house...)
And so....I stepped back again about a week ago.
I didn't plan any live streams.
I only had the expectation of what I had committed to with my church, so that I could begin honoring that still, small voice again...
and I had some great days
and I had some scary days;
let's be real.
But I have hope...
and today, I put in a yoga dvd that I had never done before, early in the morning, with a candle burning near me, after coffee and devotional time,
and I practiced.
just for me.
just to feel good.
Not to be inspired for a future class.
Not because I "should" because my current assignment in life has to do with teaching yoga...
but just for me.
Not in a selfish way, but in an OBEDIENT way...
because that still, small voice nudged me, there, too.
And, by the way, during my practice, I talk with Jesus.
I talk with God.
I even invite the angels to practice with me, though I know they have better things to do...
but I picture my Jesus next to me in Utkatasana (chair pose), and I smile...
and I realized I felt again like the girl who first found yoga waaaaaay back over 17 years ago.
And it was so nice to be her again.
(this is not a new concept as a yoga teacher, that you get burned out when you teach a lot and don't take care of your own practice, by the way. not my first trip 'round the mountain. But this one is especially poignant. And I am refusing to feel guilty that I have the chance---because oh, that is a temptation for me!--but am choosing to remember that God sets my portion, and it is not only ok for me to enjoy this time, to get re-centered, to feel like this again...but that He has been calling me to it for awhile now. He always does know best.)
this week I have "challenged" myself to take my SUP (Stand-up Paddleboard) out on the lake as many mornings as I can according to weather and schedule, and practice yoga at home other mornings.
To give myself that kind of space in this strange time.
You see, all that ramped up energy I mentioned before---
it all came from expectation.
"Everyone else is doing this, so should you" ...
and I may still do more online stuff, I really may!
But I know what I am like when I am on technology too often. When I spend long hours at the computer doing edits and promotion ans sharing (and writing blogs and emails)...
and the voice inside me has been saying "get outside, my outside girl. Let me heal you. I am giving you this time. You don't HAVE to fill it up with worldly expectations. You have been craving simplicity---go ahead and live it!"
I may or may not do another free/donations-only livestream very soon. Stay tuned via my youtube channel and social media pages...
(and by the way, I do not intend to undercut any of my colleagues when I do those, so I will likely add a "donate to non-profit" button to any that I do through FB...I just consider these to be similar to when I teach Yoga in the Park type classes...)
I will definitely continue the weekly Meditation Thursdays posts that I do with Tri-Lakes Christian Church, among other behind-the-scenes fun.(!)
And maybe I will share each practice with you, whatever video I have done...
if I feel like it.
No pressure on myself to "be" anyone I am not.
Just encouragement to "Be", period.
On that note, today I did the Vinyasa Flow practice from Sarah Powers' Insight yoga video. Simple and gentle. No music, just words. a good, slow burn and focused connection...and I chose my own meditation and Savasana at the end.
I did play some meditation music for my final resting time...
if you would like recommendations of music I love to use for meditation, click here!
(if you don't receive anything within a few days, please email me at VesselsOfClayYoga@gmail.com. Technology is what it is.)
If you would like to check out any of the Livestream Yoga classes that I have offered in the past 6 weeks, click here...
and if you want any guided mediation, click here (they are all short, and helpful for various reasons or ponderings!).
Or if you just want to see the newly curated youtube channel,
click here for main page,
and here for the Playlists!
(I have even started a blooper reel...)
If you don't want to miss a video as it pops up on the youtube channel, be sure to not only click on the SUBSCRIBE button, but ALSO, click the notification bell so that you are notified when new videos are uploaded!